Times are rough

I'm back from vegas. . . yay!

I'll be uploading pictures eventually, there's too many D,x

But boy has it been rough since I've been back.  I feel like my life has more drama than anyone else, especially when it comes to my personal life.

Me and my boyfriend- Jordan (of 2 years) broke up

Basically he told me it was 100% my fault, and I'm too selfish and self-absorbed.  He couldn't even give me any examples or anything but oh well, I wanted to break up with him too, so it was mutual.

I miss when I didn't care about boys.  That's all I seemed to think about.  I have a bad habit of going from one guy to another guy to help with heart break, but this time it's different.  There is no other guy in the picture this time, just me.  Just me, myself, and I to pick up the pieces and slowly piece my life back together.

I forgot what it feels like to have your heart broken.  The sad thing is though, my newly found ex boyfriend wasn't the one who broke my heart.  I did it to myself.   I moved in with a guy I ultimately wasn't in love with, and I was a reckless party go-er who tried to fill that empty void.

Guys shouldn't be a girls number 1 priority.

But, in the end, it seems like they are.  Why do we keep going back even though we just get our hearts broken?

Jordan and I share a 1 bedroom apartment, he moves out at the end of the month.  But until then, I shall be camping out in my living room-- using my couch as my bed.  Sleepless nights on a couch, wandering around my apartment at night snacking on toast (in my underwear), what has my life come to?

I feel like my life has come to a screeching halt and the pieces are all over the place.  The hardest part about a new beginning is finding the pieces and putting them together, by yourself.

A new beginning is a bittersweet feeling.  It sucks to start all over and rebuild everything, but it's a new beginning.  A new time to find yourself-- and to make new mistakes and learn from them.

Oh and Jordan if you are reading this:  I'm sorry.  I am so sorry for how things turned out.  We weren't meant for each other, and I know there is a girl out there who will love and respect you.